How to take care of your Grimm
by Bloody Simpson Chibi
Summary: People used to do these kind of fanfics all the time so I decided to give it a try. Meant to be funny. Rated K
1. Beowolf

**How to Take Care of your Grimm: The Official Guide**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY**

 **Beowolf**

So you want to adopt a Beowolf? That's great but first you should know the basics of how to properly care for your Grimm. First, make sure you have the following items:

200 Grams of Dog Food (preferably dry.)

Dog Shampoo (Grimm be smelly)

A lot and we mean a LOT of toys (He's gonna go through them like popcorn.)

A second Beowolf (Optional but highly suggested.)

Beowolves are very territorial Grimm and do not play well with others unless they too are Beowolves. You should not get a Beowolf if you have pets your're not ready to part with. Beowolves are pack Grimm and therefore it is probably a good idea to to get two instead of one.

Bewolves need to be taken out for walks at least once a day. Early morning is the best time but be careful that no annoying hunters or huntresses attack your beowolf during this time. Maybe take it to the dog park and bring a Frisbee or ball to play catch with. Just make sure he doesn't chase any cats...or people up a tree.

Beowolves need plenty of exercise so make sure you have a big yard with plenty of room for them to run around in. Make sure it's fenced so your beowolf can't get out and hunters/huntresses can't get in.

Beowolves are capable of learning many tricks and commands like Sit, Stay, Down, Heel, and Mutilate. You're gonna need a lot a patience as they are kinda slow.

That should be everything you need to know about caring for your beowolf. Have fun.

* * *

"Hey Ruby! What's ya reading?"Yang asked.

"This weird book I found outside our dorm room." Ruby showed the book to Yang

"How to take care of your Grimm? What is it, like a joke book or something?"

"It has to be. I mean what idoit would fall for something like this?" The two girls started to laugh.

"Hahaha. Yeah...I'm gonna go get a beowolf!" Ruby shouted as she ran out the door.

"Ruby no!" Yang ran after her.

 **(Gonna make a side story to all the chapters in order to keep with FF rules.)**


	2. Ursa

**Ursa**

So you want to take care of an Ursa instead? They are a little tougher than Beowolves but just as rewarding for those brave or foolish enough to raise one. You will need the following items:

4000 pounds of dog food. (monthly)

Really big and durable toys. (We're talking balls made out of steel which you probably have if you've adopted an Ursa in the first place.)

A cave (For winter months)

Honey (Treat for good behavior)

Ursa can be very greedy eaters. They can put away about 200 pounds worth of food a day. If you don't have that much money, you could always let your Ursa roam around and foliage by itself. It does run the risk of encountering hunters/huntresses this way so be careful. If possible, buy a acre of woodland and fence it up.

A cave or similar place is absolutely necessary for the winter months. Ursas hibernate during this time and eat twice as much food as normal in preparation for this. They will be safe from hunters/huntresses during this time. This also gives you time to stock on food for spring.

Honey is a special treat Ursas seem to love. Consider taking up beekeeping as a hobby. You might need it. Follow all these steps and I'm sure you will have a great time with your Ursa!

* * *

"Who on Earth would write a book on this?" Weiss asked.

"Are you sure this isn't just one of your stupid pranks Yang?" Blake glared daggers at Yang.

"I swear guys it's not me! I wouldn't know how to write a book to save my life!"

"Regardless of who the author is, one thing is clear." Weiss continued. "We must find any other copies that might exist and destroy them."

Blake and Yang both nodded in agreement.

"Um guys?" Ruby asked, the grey tape holding her against the wall.

"No Ruby. We are not getting an Ursa." Yang answered.

Ruby pouted.


	3. Nevermore

**Nevermore**

Ah so your a bird fan are you? I must warn you Nevermore's are a little more high maintenance than Beowolves and Ursas. You will need the following items:

One REALLY big bird cage, (At least have as big as your house.

One REALLY big perch (Even Nevermores need to roost)

Lots and lots of bird seed. (Depending on how big your Nevermore gets)

Your Nevermore will need room to fly so make sure you let it out at least once every day for exercise. Don't worry, your Nevermore will always come back t you. You have all it's stuff.

A healthy Nevermore will eat at least four bags of bird seed a day. You can give it treats from time to time but what ever you do, don't feed it carrot-tops with great eyelashes. Trust us.

A Nevermore can grow up to three times it's normal size if cared for properly so you might have to expand it's cage every once in a awhile.

Follow these steps and you'll raise a great big Nevermore in no time!

* * *

"Is this some kind of joke book?" Pyrrha asked.

"I don't think so." Blake confessed. "And if it is, I don't think it's really funny."

"Where did you find this book?" asked Jaune.

"It was just in front of our dorm room." Weiss answered.

"This could be trouble." Ren said "We should look for any other books like this and destroy them."

"Um..guys!"

"No!" Yang shouted. "We are not letting either of you go.

"Oh man!" Ruby and Nora said in unison, the grey tape beginning to peel off.

 **(sorry for the sucky chapter)**


End file.
